Wednesday, August 02, 2006

rabbit, rabbit

Uh, that's a day late, but you get the point. What's up, Kitchen Sink Blog? You're sitting here all alone dreaming of hands to touch you. Join the fucking crowd. Seriously, the Bay Area in summer is like Euro Disney: all of a sudden, nobody who lives here is around anymore, and the entire area is crowded with people from Germany/Denmark/Holland whatever place where they're all blonde and loud and frequently get lost on Muni and Bart. And they're all crowding around the shoe counter in Nordstrom's buying Crocs, which are so ugly that they must have been invented in Europe. Because unless you're French or Italian, chances are you're wearing some ugly-ass shoes. Especially if you're in San Francisco for the summer.

Anyway, I didn't come here to complain about Europeans, but to update you, blog, because you're kind of lonely looking after we put on all those events last month. We're not putting on any events this month, but we have a new issue which is here, like, now, though I haven't seen it yet, but people tell me it's pretty. I like it when people say things are pretty... especially when people say that about me. But that's because my mother didn't love me... I kid. She does, but she also told me once that I'm built like a brick shithouse, but that I would probably outgrow that phase.

Let's mix some favorites and some shit list, just for variety:
1) Weather. Elka can tell you more about this than I can, but I wonder why we have to have wether at all. It's either good or bad but it's never consistently anything. I say we get rid of weather and replace it with portable clouds we can all carry around or discard according to our whims. You could get them customized with the faces of people you want to have sex with or puppies or whatever.
2) Project Runway. Jesus I cannot wait until tonight to see who gets kicked off! It's fucking killing me.If anybody knows, please immediately email kaya at oakestown dot org and end my suffering. (please, let it be Keith...)
3) Cats, and their waste products. I have three (Whiny, Pissy and Fatty). If there were a hell made of urine and feces, you might find it in my house.
4) The Dog Whisperer. I'm not a dog person (see #3), because when I was five a dog bit my face and I have a long scar running down one side of it (see note above regarding self-image problem). But this teeny little guy tames savage dogs like I shop for cillantro: it's no big deal.
5) The long stretch of summer without a single email from a student. Who needs to spend money to leave town when you have that kind of bliss for free?

1 Comments:

Blogger Fanny Sink said...

Would it be weird if my cloud had a picture of a cloud on it? I'd like to fuck a cloud some time. Or at least have one try to fuck me, so I could turn it down and then have it all turn to plain ol'water and rain tears of my own personal weather all o'er me. Because I'm a bitch like that.

6:34 PM  

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