Monday, April 24, 2006

editorial shitlist of the week

Kitchen Sink Magazine has something called an editorial shitlist. You won't know about it until you're on it, and you probably will never know you're on it once you get there. I'm not here to expose the shitlist, but to flip the now-predictable script of editorial favorites for a cloudy, shitty, drab day. Enjoy. I hate you. Fuck off.

Shitlist for the week of 4/24
1) Everybody who didn't come to Telegraph Stories last night (except for the people who told me they weren't coming ahead of time and provided a valid reason for not being there). Look, do you realize what an awesome event you missed? And how shitty we think you are? I hope you do.
2) Allergies. What the fuck. Why do these exist?
3) Astigmatism. Because it's not bad enough that you're sneezing and sniffling from allergies, now you have to sneeze and sniffle while wearing glasses.
4) Neck pain/back pain/RSI. Because it's not enough that you're wearing ugly glasses and have allergies, you also have chronic pain.
5) Gasoline, and the price of gasoline, in Northern California, urban.
6) UGIS, UC Berkeley. Because when you spend three years developing a class, they take it away from you. Just because they can.
7) The existence of Marissa Cooper on The OC. Kill the bitch, already. Jesus.
8) Crocs, Uggs and Tevas. The trifecta of hideous footwear, seen every day, every single day, in Berkeley.
9) The fact that no decent blogs update often enough, while all the crappy ones update all the time. Thus negating blogs as a time-killing instrument, which is pretty much their only reason to exist. PS. Fuck Flarf.
10) The marine layer.


Blogger jeff t. johnson said...

get 'em, tiger.

i like your new series.

9:07 PM  
Anonymous kaya said...

It's all about hate. Hate, sometimes, needs to be embraced.

10:30 AM  
Blogger CLAY BANES said...

i thought astigmatisms were the bleeding palms, which i also hate. or flarfers are the palm-bleeders.

i don't hate garrison keillor by the way. even though the very odd time i catch his writer's almanac on the radio and he reads a poem, it's usually  c r a p .

stop worrying. hate is on the way.

2:50 PM  
Blogger kevin fitz said...

11) Biking behind and next to cars, stopping at stop lights, huffing fumes, destroying my lungs and the air. who thought of cars anyway?

3:16 PM  
Anonymous kaya said...

Clay, my friend, if I had stigmata and astigmatism, I would be a cross-eyed Jesus.

I hate Garrison Keilor, but it's okay if other people don't. I hate folsky. Not folks. I like folks and hate folksy. Like Ted Kooser. He folksy.

Kevin, the person who invented cars probably also invented cigarettes. My only remaining vices. Cars and smoking.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Carla said...

i'm really concerned about Marissa Cooper. she might not be able to find enough crack to smoke when she starts at Berkeley.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous jewelry making said...

The sound doesn't good to hear. But hate could ruin anyone...

6:56 AM  

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